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What happened to all the old traffic rules?

John David Fay
Sentinel columnist
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Posted 7/17/22

It doesn’t matter where you are today, it can be very dangerous — especially for us older folks.

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What happened to all the old traffic rules?

Posted

Driving in traffic! It doesn’t matter where you are today, it can be very dangerous — especially for us older folks. All the old rules seem to be gone.

For instance, we were taught to stay one car length behind the car in front of you for every 10 mph you’re driving. Do that now and somebody will cut in front of you from the other lane.

Right of way and courtesy are a thing of the past. I saw a license plate a while back that said, UFirst. I thought that was a wonderful sentiment until it was pointed out that it referred to Utica First Insurance.

It has become a “me first” society and we just have to deal with it. When I see something that gives me pause, I write a little ditty. Hey — it’s just what I do!

I’ll give you a few of them this week — but I have many more. If you see something like these — tell me. These don’t have titles because they are self-explanatory. I just call the whole collection — Loony Tune Drivers.

Left-lane Louie never moves to the right,
Just pushes on the gas with all of his might.
He’ll run up your bumper if you get in the way,
‘Cause he’s the only one on the road today.

Gobblin’ Gail had no time to eat,
So, she piles her breakfast in the passenger seat.
A bite of her muffin and a sip of brew; Throws the wrapper out the window when she gets through.

Cell-phone Phyllis has it stuck to her ear,
Drives through traffic like there’s nothing to fear.
Steers with her knees ‘cause her hands aren’t free. I’m in my lane but so is she.

Tailgate Tommy is a precious boy. He thinks his car is a great big toy.

His margin of error’s kind of slim ‘Cause the light in his attic’s a little dim.

Happy Horn Humphrey is a frequent tooter,
Blows his horn like a persistent suiter.
Always startles me and makes me jump;
The horn’s for emergencies not pleasure, Hump!

Tin Can Terry drives a bucket of bolts,
Really doesn’t mind a couple more jolts.
He’ll park so close getting out is a squeeze,
But he’ll ding your door and blow like the breeze.

So, watch yourself if you’re out there driving,
At least if you want to keep on thriving.
Watch out for them; they won’t watch for you,
‘Cause they all got something better to do. JDF

Historical tidbits:

Where did the one-fingered salute come from? At the Battle of Agincourt, between the British and French, the Brits introduced a new weapon — the longbow. The French thought it was a funny weapon and boasted that they’d cut off the middle finger of every archer
that used it. Unfortunately for the French, it worked and they lost. As they retreated, the Brits all raised that finger to show them they still had it. The gesture seems to have survived.

Joke: A couple in their eighties were at the beach just enjoying the sunshine and a libation when the wife suddenly gasped, “Oh my God. I think I left the oven on. The house will burn down.” Without moving, the husband took a sip and said, “Ah, don’t worry about it dear. I remembered a while ago that I left the bathtub running.”

That’s all I have this week. See ya! JDF

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