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ROUNDING THIRD: An ode to the queen of speed golf

John David Fay
Sentinel columnist
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Posted 8/21/22

Have you been introduced to Wes and Lauren Cupp, the globe-trotting ambassadors fortheir favorite sport and pastime — Speed Golf?

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ROUNDING THIRD: An ode to the queen of speed golf

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Have you been introduced to Wes and Lauren Cupp, the globe-trotting ambassadors for their favorite sport and pastime — Speed Golf?

When they’re not at Rome Country Club catering to us members, they are somewhere in the world promoting the sport and running roughshod over the competition.

On Aug. 7 and 8 they were at RCC and Teugega hosting their own presentation of the sport. People came from all over to compete at both the pro and amateur levels. Not surprisingly, both Cupps were victorious.

Wes is rated in the top five in the world, and wife, Lauren, is the number one female player on this globe. She holds the female world’s record.

Impressed yet? I am.

They can shoot about 70 over 18 holes in under 50 minutes with four clubs.

Next time you’re struggling through a 5 hour round trying to break 85, just think about that.

They’ve competed in England, Japan, South Korea, and New Zealand, and will be in Ireland over Labor Day. In the U.S. they’ve competed in California, Washington, Texas, Kentucky, Florida, Idaho, and Ohio.

Go up some evening and watch them practice. It’s a very fluid and graceful sport — at least the way they play it.

When Lauren was inducted into the RCC Hall of Fame recently, I was moved to write this poem for her. It’s called Lauren — Queen of Speed-Golf.

Quickly now she turns to run,
As though she must out-pace the sun.
A bag held in one smallish hand;
Her long legs stride across the land.

Lithe of body, fair of face;
Athleticism, style and grace.
She passes swiftly though the green,
Then disappears as though unseen.

Across the course through hill and dale,
She tells a solitary tale;
One of daunting speed and skill,
And heart of iron-seated will.

Then, when her run comes to an end,
She’s mother, wife and treasured friend.
This is no pampered athlete who,
Can play a game her whole life through.

This is a woman for the age,
Who checks the boxes on each page.
She’s number one for many reasons:
This is a woman for all seasons.

JDF 7/22

I’d write one for Wes, but as I have said, “I’m not Poe, Shelley, or especially, Walt Whitman.”

Joke:

Two women were talking and one said, “Did you know that 80% of men think that the best way to end an argument is to make love?”

The other woman answered, “Well, that would certainly revolutionize the game of ice hockey!”

Favorite one-liners

• America doesn’t need better gun control, they need better idiot control.

• It’s not the hours you put in, it’s what you put into the hours.

• A man can fail many times, but he isn’t a failure until he blames someone else.

• Living in the past has a big advantage — it’s a lot cheaper.

• Every time I think I’m making my mark on the world, someone comes along with an eraser.

Historical tidbits

• In ancient times, people shook hands to show they weren’t armed.

• Soldiers do not march in step when crossing a bridge because they could set up a vibration that could be sufficient to knock the bridge down.

• The 1977 NYC blackout was partially responsible for the birth of hip-hop. It provided cover for mass looting of DJ equipment in the Bronx.

• The University of Alaska spans four time zones.

See ya! JDF

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