Dealing with the loss of a loved one

by Peter Sestito
Posted 6/30/19

Not only do I not know the answers, but I am no longer certain that I know the questions… Life is anything but fair. A beautiful woman inside and out is taken much too soon as a result of …

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Dealing with the loss of a loved one

Posted

Not only do I not know the answers, but I am no longer certain that I know the questions…

Life is anything but fair. A beautiful woman inside and out is taken much too soon as a result of metastatic breast cancer. Her husband and son are left behind to grieve. What do you say? How can you help? I feel completely helpless and I too am grieving the loss of my sister-in-law. I not only share in the loss, but feel tremendous sadness for her husband and son,  brother and sister, mother and father, and mother-in-law and father-in-law.

I know you can all relate, as none of us are exempt from the loss of a loved one. Whether death comes from illness or disease, natural or unnatural, tragic accident or just old age, it’s almost impossible to accept and understand. Feelings such as anger, sadness, denial, etc…are all normal, but how do we finally come to terms and reconcile our feelings? I would never try to define how you or anyone else comes to terms with the loss of a loved one, but I can only share my own reconciliation. I believe that God’s plan is perfect and although I do not understand why or how this all came to fruition, I do accept that it was His will. It doesn’t mean that I’m not upset or mad at Him, but I’m sure he realizes that I am human and that as an imperfect being, I am not always able to come to an immediate place of acceptance. A friend once told me that God feels your love in all times, especially when your upset and grieving. 

Who was Kim Casler? If Kim were a simple face, she would be a beautiful smiley face. If Kim were a simple characteristic, she would be perfectly kind and sweet. If Kim were a breeze, she would be a warm gentle cleansing ocean breeze. The world lost a gentle soul, who was completely devoted to her family, especially her husband Shawn and her son Jonathon. I believe that Kim is in a better place and that all her loved ones will unite at some time. Our time on Earth is insignificant to eternity in Heaven.

Kim Casler, may you Rest in Eternal Peace. We will miss you, but will cherish the memories. Thank you for your beautiful gifts to all of us in your 44 years. You lived well and loved even better.

For those of you that have experienced or are experiencing the loss of a loved one, I wish you peace and hope that you are able to come to terms and accept what has happened or is happening. Don’t suppress your feelings. Open up and share.

Also, don’t leave anything unsaid as you will regret not having the conversation that you should have had while they were still alive. I would like to share with you a conversation that I had with my Dad a day or two before he passed. I hope it puts a smile on your face as I still laugh out loud when I think about it. The time was drawing near for Dad to go to his eternal resting place. He and I both knew that his time was running out. Dad was nonverbal at this point and I was at his bedside. I was telling him how much I loved him and how thankful I was that he was my Dad. I went on to tell him that I was sorry for all my misdeeds and I could never thank him enough for helping me during my time of need(s). I went on to say that I could never repay him financially for all his financial help over the years. He opened his eyes and smiled with his uniquely devilish grin and whispered “you could’ve tried.” I laughed out loud and dad laughed too. He closed his eyes and whispered “I love you.” A few days later Dad passed away..

As I am mad today at God for taking Kim away at 44 years old, I was mad at God for taking Dad away at 93 years old. I’m left with knowing and believing God’s plan is perfect. It doesn’t mean that I understand now or will ever understand.

Please remember to pray for those in need and it’s OK to pray for yourself as well. Thank you for allowing me to share a personal story and I hope that this will allow you to grieve and process the loss of a loved one.

Have a great month and I’ll see you all in July.

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