Kelly’s Korner: You know you’re getting old when...


As is my daily practice, I check out the day’s list of newspaper obituaries. The other day I was shocked. 

What shocked me were the dates. Every one of the dearly departed — each and everyone — was younger than me. Another way of saying this is that each of the people listed in the obits was younger than 74.

In other words, I am getting old. Some would say I am already old. Whatever, it is not a good thing when everyone listed in the obituaries is younger than you.

Comparing your age to the ages of people in the obituaries is just one way of realizing your age. There are other ways.

You know you are getting old when:

You and your pharmacist address each other by first names.

You remember Jerry Fiore as the WKTV anchor, and Joe Rossier as the station’s weatherman.

You remember the show hosted by Steve Allen and Jack Paar, and could actually stay awake long enough to watch “The Tonight Show.”

You remember where Oneida County’s airport was located in Oriskany and when Mohawk Airlines was headquartered there.

You learned Palmer Method, and your penmanship is still good.

You get an annual physical every six months, and when the doctor gives you a clean bill of health you say, “Are you sure?”

You are constantly comparing prices and saying, “Do you know what I used to pay for that?”

You remembering listening to AM radio because there was no FM radio.

You sit in the shade instead of the sun because that’s what the doctor told you to do.

You vote for people who are all younger than you, as are police officers and firefighters who look like kids.

You spend time comparing medical operations with your friends.

You remember what “party lines” were because you shared your telephone line with two other families, and you always carried change in case you needed to use a pay phone. 

You remember having a car that had no air-conditioning, no power windows and no power anything.

You remember black and white television and an antenna on the roof, which brought in one or two stations.

You remember seeing the Beatles for the first time on the Ed Sullivan Show.

You dressed up to go on an airliner.

You rooted for the Giants who were in New York and the Dodgers who were in Brooklyn, and Mantle and Maris, “The M&M Boys,” who played for the New York Yankees. 

You treat Friday and Saturday nights as just another night.

You remember eating at McDonald’s, giving the clerk a dollar and getting change back.

You get offered the “senior citizen discount” without asking for it.

Your children are smarter than you and everybody thinks so, including you and them.  

You worry about going to your high school reunion for fear there won’t be much of a crowd.

You constantly think the world was once a much simpler place.   


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