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KELLY'S KORNER: The true answers to unasked questions

Joe Kelly
Sentinel columnist
Posted 10/2/22

People have asked me many questions over the years. But I don’t remember ever being asked any of the following questions. 

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KELLY'S KORNER: The true answers to unasked questions


People have asked me many questions over the years. But I don’t remember ever being asked any of the following questions. 

Had I been asked, this is what I would have truthfully answered:

What do you enjoy most about writing?

Give me enough time and I might be able to think of something.

Are you a messy desk person or a clean desk person? 

I once lost my cell phone on my desk. I found it by having someone call my number.

How long does it take to write a column?

I once wrote a column in 12 minutes. The very next column took me eight hours. Of the two, the 12-minute column was much better.

Will the New York Yankees make it to the World Series this year?

Yes, which is what I say every year. There will come a year when I will be correct. 

Who does the cooking in your house?

If it was me, we’d never eat unless it was take out or in a restaurant.

Who in your household pays the bills and handles the checkbook? 

The same person who does the cooking. 

Is the checkbook balanced?

I have no clue.

When you want to get away from it all, where do you go?

If people knew, I wouldn’t be able to go there and get away from it all.

How much time do you spend online?

Lots. I once spent lots of time in libraries, but my library time is down and my online time is up.

Do you text?

Too much. 

Do you carry pictures in your wallet?

Back in the day I did, but not now. I do, however, have 2,048 pictures on my cell phone.

Do you screen your telephone calls? 

If I don’t recognize the number, I don’t answer. Sometimes I don’t answer because I do recognize the number.

What time do you usually go to bed at night?

It depends on how good the book I’m reading happens to be. 

Your favorite television show? 

I don’t watch much TV. I’m spending too much time online and reading.

Does the name Walter D. Edmonds ring a bell? Do you know what he did?

Yes and yes. His “Drums Along the Mohawk” is on my Top 10 books of all time. Once I even had the chance to speak with him. He was gracious.

Your biggest pet peeve?

Don’t get me started. I’ve written entire columns about pet peeves.

Do you know what a palindrome is?

Yes, and I’ve written entire columns about them, too. 

If you weren’t a newspaper columnist, what kind of work would you do?

I’d have to get a real job.

Do you pray? How often? 

Yes, and sometimes once a day isn’t enough.  

Do you have a tattoo?

I’ve made many mistakes in life, but not that one.

Have you ever done anything illegal? What and when?

The statute of limitations expired long ago, but I see no need to embarrass myself at this point.

Who was your favorite governor?

I liked Malcom Wilson, governor in 1974. He grew up in New York City, but owned a farm in Westmoreland. Because he was only governor for a year he didn’t do much damage and anyone who owns a Westmoreland farm has to be honest. 

Can you name every county in New York State? 

I just tried. There are 62 counties in New York State. I was able to name 51. Not the best, but I’ll bet there have been governors who have done worse.

Has the length of your column changed over the years?

Yes. For many years my column was 500 to 550 words. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten longer winded. What you just read was 628 words, which is typical.


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