Kelly's Korner: It’s the drawer filled with useful items of little value

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Every 10 years or so, whether needed or not, my junk drawer gets cleaned out. It has been more than 10 years.

My junk drawer is in the kitchen. Most people have a junk drawer and most junk drawers are in the kitchen. 

The other day I dumped the contents of the junk drawer on the dining room table. What follows is a partial list of the drawer’s contents.

Schedules for the Utica Comets, 2021-2022 hockey season, which didn’t end well, and the three seasons before that. Last season’s schedule is also on a magnetic card that is stuck to the refrigerator. 

Bushnell binoculars, small enough to fit in a sport coat pocket. I went to Jersey Boys the other night. The seats weren’t close to the stage. The Bushnells helped. For the record, the performers had tiny microphones that run through their hair. Thanks to the Bushnells, I could see the end of the microphone high on their forehead. 

Small transistor radio, AM and FM. I only use the radio to listen to Yankees games when the games are on television channels I can’t get, channels such as Apple, Prime and Peacock, whatever Peacock is. Listening to baseball on the radio isn’t as bad as it sounds. 

Duct tape. No home should be without duct tape. I have a big roll in the tool chest, a small roll in the junk drawer and an even smaller roll in my suitcase. On more than one occasion, duct tape has saved the day. 

Matches, three books and one box of kitchen matches. I’m not sure why. We have an electric stove. I haven’t needed a light for a cigarette since 1982. But if we ever need to light candles for the dinner table, I’m set. 

Keys, keys and more keys. I don’t believe I’ve ever thrown away a key in my life. The junk drawer has 49 keys and many more are in the garage. I don’t know what they unlock, but I’m afraid to throw them out. They open something. 

Two dull pencils and eight pens. I never use a pencil, especially not a dull one. The pens are in the junk drawer and not the desk drawer because I don’t like the way they write.

Instruction booklets. If any of the kitchen appliances break, if I need information on any of the televisions or the vacuum cleaner, the junk drawer is the first place to go.

Batteries, AA, AAA, C and D. One small flashlight that doesn’t work because the batteries are dead.

Rubber bands, thumbtacks, paper clips, safety pins, string and clothes pins. Where else but a junk drawer would you put those kinds of things?  

A stack of laminated cards handed out at funeral homes. Each card has a picture, date of birth and death, and either a poem or saying. A junk drawer is not the place for funeral cards. I know that. I’m just not sure where to put them. I’ll never throw them out. That’s for certain. 

Sales receipts. I keep these in case I ever have to return something, which I never do. Some of the receipt paper has turned yellow or brown. 

Three green swizzle sticks, four cardboard drink coasters, two decks of cards, one sealed and one opened. I can’t imagine who opened the deck. The only card game I play is solitaire and I play that on the computer.

I threw out the Comet schedules, including the one on the refrigerator, as well as the pencils and pens and the receipts that have turned yellow or brown. I’m set for another 10 years. 

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