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COLUMN: Rounding Third

John David Fay
Rounding Third Columnist
Posted 3/13/22

The world today is full of charlatans, hoaxers and catfishers. I used that last termbecause I just found out what it means. The young studs are always explaining the ways of theworld to me, and I’m …

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COLUMN: Rounding Third


The world today is full of charlatans, hoaxers and catfishers.

I used that last term because I just found out what it means. The young studs are always explaining the ways of the world to me, and I’m astounded and slightly dazed.

Everything — and I mean everything — is fair game.

It’s put on Facebook, Twitter or whatever site allows you to publish your clean and dirty laundry.

I grew up in an era of privacy and discretion in certain areas. That’s gone. But not for us. I put very little on Facebook.

It’s hard to know what’s real and what’s Memorex any more (remember that commercial?)

You used to be able to tell your best friend a secret and he’d take it
to the grave. Now, who knows.

People do like to talk and very little is sacred. The saddest part
to me is you can’t seem to trust a smile anymore.

There’s a saying that goes, “America began to lose its identity when we switched from overalls and handshakes to suits and contracts.”

Can you honestly say you can sit across a desk from a salesman or politician or whomever … and understand where the pretty words and smiles are coming from.

Are they real, or does he want something more from you than you should be giving?

Who do you trust today? I have a few friends I know I can trust implicitly. I hope you do.

It’s a tough world because everybody seems to have issues and agendas.

This poem was written a while back but is still relevant! It’s called:

The Smile of the Cheshire Cat (look it up, Giff!)

Do you believe in the Cheshire Cat? Is his mind really where his smile is at?
Or, is it possible that his grin comes from without and not from within?
So many people don’t understand that a smile doesn’t mean you’re showing your hand.

You can turn your lips up end to end, but none can be sure if you’re foe or friend.
A smile can be felt in the depth of the soul, and a laugh doesn’t have to rock and roll,
Joy doesn’t make us all jump up and down and we just can’t assume that no smile is a frown.

So, I would suggest if you want to know if the person you’re with is feeling the glow
Of the joy of life, don’t look so far south. Look into his eyes and not at his mouth!

­­­- JDF

It also reflects my sense of humor in that, I don’t break up in raucous laughter very often, but that doesn’t mean I don’t see the humor and/or feel good.

We perceive things differently. I’d rather have a person who smiles at my good jokes than one who roars at my bad ones because they want something.

Give me honesty every time. I can deal with that.

Joke: Earl and Bubba are sitting in a boat fishing, chewing tobacco and drinking beer when suddenly Bubba blurts out, “I think I’m a gonna divorce the wife. She ain’t spoke to me in nigh onto three months.” Earl spits overboard, takes a long, slow sip of beer and says, ”better think that over real good. Women like that are hard to find.”

Favorite one-liners:

Drivers are safe when roads are dry; roads are safer when drivers are dry!

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference. (Eric?)

Slipper roads, minus 15 degrees and snow. Where’s that “I Love NY” lady now? Probably in Florida.

Laziness is nothing more than resting before you get tired.

Life doesn’t come with a remote. You have to get off your butt to change it.

Historical tidbits:

A few hundred years ago, common entertainment included playing cards.
However, there was a tax levied when you purchased the cards but only applicable to the ace of spades. To avoid the tax, many people would only buy 51 cards. Since most games required 52 cards, these people were thought stupid because they “weren’t playing with a full deck.”

Matter what you say:

Dr. Samuel Howe’s 40-something wife visited the capital city during the early part of the Civil War and heard a soldier singing, “John Brown’s body lies a moldering in the grave. …”
A companion told her she should write more suitable words to that music. Later on, she heard the song again while she was in bed. She got up and jotted down new words on some hotel stationery. The next morning, she found the words and ended up selling them to the Atlantic Monthly for $4. It ended up being a Union theme song, “Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord. He has …”

Martin Van Buren (no. 8) was the first president to be born in the United States.

Julia Dent Grant, wife of no. 18, Ulysses, had menus for a White House dinner printed on satin cloth for a Russian prince. (Take that, Jackie!)

Ah yeah! That’s all for this week. Hope you found something at least amusing! JDF


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