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COLUMN: A smile is worth a pot of gold

Posted 3/13/22

St. Patrick’s Day is a great holiday. The arrival of the great day means we’ve broken the back of winter and spring is around the corner, although a blizzard in April is not unusual. No presents …

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COLUMN: A smile is worth a pot of gold

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St. Patrick’s Day is a great holiday.

The arrival of the great day means we’ve broken the back of winter and spring is around the corner, although a blizzard in April is not unusual.

No presents have to be purchased for St. Patrick’s Day, which is another good thing. I do, however, purchase green carnations. 

No greeting cards need to be sent, another good thing. A friend of mine, however, has sent me a happy St. Patrick’s Day card for decades, although I’ve never reciprocated. 

No big meals need to be prepared, although I enjoy corned beef and cabbage once a year and St. Patrick’s Day is the day.

Nothing is required on March 17th except to have a good time. Just smile.

I have a couple of stories. I have to be careful because the stories involve adult beverages and the Irish and in this politically correct world - well …

Anyway, two men were sitting next to each other in a New York City bar. After a while, one guy looks at the other and says, “I can’t help but think, from listening to you, that you’re from Ireland.”

The other guy responds proudly, “Yes, that I am!”

The first guy says, “So am I and where from Ireland might you be?”

The other guy answers, “I’m from Dublin, I am.”

The first guy responds, “Sure and begorra, and so am I and what street did you live on in Dublin?”

The other guy says, “I lived on McCleary Street in the old Central part of town.”

The first guy says, “A small world it is, and so did I. What school would you have been going?”

The other guy answers, “I went to St. Mary’s of course.”

The first guy gets really excited and says, And so did I. Tell me, what year did you graduate?”

The other guy answers, “I graduated in 1964.”

The first guy exclaims, “The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same bar tonight. Can you believe it? I graduated from St. Mary’s in 1964 my own self.”

About this time, a lady, a regular at the bar, walks in, sits down, orders a beer and asks the bartender how everything is going.

The bartender shakes his head, looks over at the two guys talking, and says, “It’s going to be a long night tonight.”

“Why do you say that?” asks the lady.

“The Murphy twins are drunk again.”

The other story - and this one is true - dates back to 2006. 

Our tour bus departed Dublin in the morning. We were on the way to Kilkenny and stopped for lunch in a village about the size of Boonville. For the life of me I can’t remember the name of the village. But it was a very Irish looking bar, the kind of place you’d expect to see in a movie. The pub was crowded with locals. The customers and the bartender were welcoming.

In the universal language of all bartenders, he asked, “What will you have?”

My daughter ordered a Guinness. “After all,” she said, “we’re in Ireland.”

“I know we are in Ireland,” I said to the bartender, “and I know I should have a Guinness or a Harp, but - now don’t laugh - I’d love a Budweiser. You don’t happen to have one of those, do you?”

He laughed and said Budweiser was his top seller. “Their brewery is right up the road.”

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